Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Triumph of the Cake

Before: The Great Wall of Cake
After: Anybody want cake?
So, the wedding came and went and everybody had a jolly good time, thank you very much.

We don't mind saying that we spent an inordinate amount of money on cake. An eye-watering amount of money. In fact, a couple of weeks before the event, we had a discussion over the extraordinary sum we were about to spend on cake and asked ourselves: "Should we cut back the cake order?"

After literally seconds of contemplation, we decided in the negative, and thought - heck it - that the eye-watering sums we were about to spend on cake would be worth it, if only so we could be The Wedding With All The Cake.

We love cake. We wanted loads of cake, and enough for people to take home with them. We never realised quite how much cake there would be.

Come the Friday, I went down to the cake person's place and picked up all the cake. It took several trips back to the car, and involved balancing the centre-piece Rainbow Cake (soon to be heading to a cake Rainbow Bridge) on top of everything else as we found every single pothole between Fleet and the wedding venue.

Rainbow Cake: Heading for the cake Rainbow Bridge
It became clear at around 5pm on the wedding day itself that some people were not taking their full ration of cake, and some other lucky people (for eg, the rest of us) would have to eat overtime to make up for this shortfall. NOM. Departing cake-loving guests had a variety of cake thrust upon them, and those of us staying in the hotel were encouraged - nay, instructed - to have midnight feasts. Much cake was demolished. Yet there was still cake. Lots of it.


In pouring rain the following day, we divvied up the remains of the cake in the hotel car park, before going our separate ways. Jane and I both took enormous quantities of cake into our respective works, and yet... yet... will still had cake in The Haunted Cake Tin That Is Always Full. And full it remained. Cake. For breakfast, lunch, dinner, tea and late-night snack. Cake. All the cake. CAKE.GOD THE CAKE WAS A TRIUMPH.

Three days later, and we still have cake left. I never want to see cake again in my life*.

*Lie. Send cake.


Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said...

Do you have yellow cake?
I will have some of that. All of it. Please to send immediately.

Richard said...

Now you need pie. Mmm pie.

Anonymous said...

We didn't have cake at our wedding because neither of us like it. Instead, we had chocolates in boxes shaped like a cake which we thought was genius. Unfortunately, three of the children invited ate most of the chocolates during numerous run-by stealth theft operations so neither of us got to eat any of our own wedding chocolates.

Keith Smith said...

I am SOOOOOOO disappointed I wasn't there, but my invitation seems to have got lost in the post. Damn the Post Office! I've sent my shares back.