Wednesday, October 08, 2014


Just filling in time before the B Ark leaves for the space colonies
Hells bells, they're using props now.

Coming out of Liverpool Street station this morning in the pissing rain, I was confronted by a cheerful-looking dreadlocked charity collector wielding a bucket.

"Ah-ha!" I think to myself, "This seems a good cause for my small change, I think I'll tip them.. a... bit... of... blunt..."

It was at that exact moment that I realised that the bucket was empty and it was a mere prop to trick me into the orbit of a future 'B Ark' passenger.

The very word formed on my lips in blind panic as I fought to achieve escape velocity ("CH... CH... CH..." like a furious David Bowie), but it was too late, for the spiel had already started.

"You look like you're a cheerful sort of person..."

"CH... CH... CH... CHUGGER!"

Not naming any names, Greenpeace.

I repeat: They're using props now.


Robin of Locksley said...

Where do chuggers come from? Are there agencies who specialise in recruiting them?
The ones who regularly prowl the precincts here in Weymouth are obviously not local - they are far too cheerful.

Anonymous said...

Just tell them to F*** Off as I do

Barry said...

I hate these people.

I will often give to charity collectors when I'm in my local town centre as they are volunteers, but these chuggers bloody get paid for it. Also I am not about to give my bank details to some stranger in the middle of the town when I don't know what will happen to them afterwards. I mean they could drop them then they could get blown away and anybody could pick them up.

As Anonymous says they can just F*** Off.

Anonymous said...

When accosted by the chuggers I just ask them what charity they are collecting for, how much the CEO gets paid and is that from the contributions, and how much does the charity receive from the government, which would make it a QANGO and not a charity, smile graciously and wend my way around them.