Friday, May 15, 2015

Everything that's wrong with Prometheus

Noomi Rapace reacts after hearing there's going to be a sequel
 We watched Prometheus last night. It still sucks.

In fact, we saw it in the cinema, thought it sucked and vowed never to watch it again. So we watched it again, and this is my mission to list everything that's wrong with Prometheus.

Then I realised that it would take so long, so here's a TL;DR version:

Everything is wrong with Prometheus.

Luckily, there's a video that covers the major sins:

But still...

* Why did they get a young actor to play an old man, then cover him with old man make-up when they COULD JUST HAVE CAST AN OLD ACTOR?

* Why did somebody program the android to be a mental?

* "Hey! That's a Rubik's Cube!"

* Why didn't Charlize Theron just run sideways when the giant alien ship was about to crush her completely to death?

* The "No... FATHER" reveal is the worst reveal in the history of cinema

* Why did the geologist and his pal go off on their own like Shaggy and Scooby Doo, only to get lost in the space ship THEY MAPPED THEMSELVES?

* Everything else

Would watch again, on a day that I truly hated myself.


Mr Larrington said...

I think we saw this in 3D at the flicks, which gave us even more of a headache than teh STUPIDZ might have achieved on its own. Much post-film BEER was consumed to wash the latter out of our branez.

rashbre said...

Great list.

Even the physics of that bit where the speedy alien space ship is hit by the Ioniser one and then crashes at its point of takeoff seems suspect.

TRT said...

Yeah, I watched it too. This is a movie that gets more and more stupid every time you see it.