Friday, October 09, 2015

On not feeding the trolls

 It's a known maxim on the internet that you shouldn't respond to trolls. They are - by and large - terrible people who thrive on the attention that is sadly missing from their everyday lives. Do not give them the time of day, for they are really weak and damaged and probably have very small private parts.


But if you MUST engage with them, be horrbily, horribly polite. Type in Stephen Fry's voice. They hate that.

For eg:

He said: "I'm not racist, I just hate ALL muslims"
 

I pointed out that this was - in fact - very racist, and he might like to cease his all-caps ranting and reconsider his position. After all, this is where proper grown-ups come to talk.
 

He didn't like my suggestion one little bit, and after a bit of a one-sided to-and-fro, suggested some violent modifications to my body, which to any reasonable person resembled punishments under Shari'ah Law. For example, the removal of one or more limbs so that I would not be able to type reasonable and polite replies in his general direction.
 

I told him this was a ludicrous suggestion, especially that Siri now comes with voice activation, and that I'd probably work out how to type with my nose sooner or later. I also suggested that while he might be very racist, his limb-removal service in the name of correcting people's behaviour shows that he subconsciously supported the Shari'at of the Muslim faith which he despises.
 
This was all too much for him, and things, sadly, went rapidly downhill from there.

Remember kids: Politeness costs nothing.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

In a second SIWOTI incident, it's not "For eg" as "e.g." is already "for example", so you've written "For for example"

Flaxen Saxon said...

I have been the recipient of the odd troll over time. For the most part you are right about ignoring them for they are pathetic sad lonely creatures (most anyway). However, once in a while you come across someone who bothers to put worth effort. They can be smart, erudite and downright entertaining. For these folk I make an exception and engage in dialogue. I love a good debate and revel in the sophistry engendered- sad bastard that I am. Also, I don't like Muslims.

Mr Larrington said...

If you point out to USAnian gnu nuts that if they believe banning for e.g. abortion, gay marriage, the teaching of evolution and black people will solve many of that country's ills then surely banning gnu ownership will be similarly beneficial their heads explode. Trufax.

Anonymous said...

It would have been nice to credit the cartoon to xkcd.com, who have been providing troll fodder for a number of years now...

https://xkcd.com/386/

Bane said...

It was foretold that the dark lord, Wadders, would call forth his loyal disciple, Patroller, to smite his enemies.

After this, nothing remains. Disabled toilet.

Alfie Noakes said...

Patroller, you are one colossal, dribbling, adult-pamper shitting spastic. Please top yourself, A.S.A.P.