Sunday, November 01, 2015

Spam of the Week: Fire Extinguishers wanted

I get email! I love email.

Click to embiggen
Greetings,Well I would like to know whether you sell Fire Extinguishers . Let me know the available sizes/models you have, or a link to look through. Also want to know the types of payment you accept. Hope to hear back from you soon.

Best Regards,
Tyler Woods 

I reproduce the email in full just in case there's anybody out there who can help Tyler while his house is burning down and he has no other means available to put out the flames.

But, sadly, Tyler's a moron.

If my house was burning down, I wouldn't be sending out bulk emails to random strangers to ask if they are willing to sell him a fire extinguisher (And yes, I do have one, but I am not willing to part with it because it has strong sentimental times to the time I set fire to something and then put it out).

No, I'd be straight onto Ebay and filtering my search for fire extinguishers so it only shows "Buy it now" offers. Even then, I'd be wary of sellers in the Far East, because I don't think the extinguisher would arrive on time, and that might look bad on my insurance claim.

Insurance company: "Why didn't you buy a fire extinguisher from a UK supplier, knowing your house was burning down and that shipping from Hong Kong could take as long as 10-12 days?"

Tyler Woods (and NOT me): "Err... it was £2.50 cheaper"

Insurance company: "You are a moron"

Tyler Woods (clutching £2.50 cheaper fire extinguisher that arrived too late): "Now I am living in my car"

Insurance company: "LOL"

Don't be like me Tyler Woods. Find a reliable Ebay fire extinguisher supplier with at least 20 positive feedback, or you might be sorry.

I am not mad.


Anonymous said...

Tyler Woods is actually this:- a girl. In the Us of A and she is stockpiling fire extinguishers in the hope that they are effective against zombies / giant otters.

TRT said...

I believe he must have heard about your letterbox extinguishing service...

Anonymous said...

I won't be caught out like Mr. Tyler.

I've got a Fire Exttuingisher - Oh, yes.

Hmm . . . now, where did I put it.