Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Introducing the "Acme" Dog Spigot

Have a dog? Struggle with grooming and access during routine dog inspections? The you need the "Acme" Dog Spigot.

Features include:

* 360-degree rotation in all axes for thorough inspection and grooming

* Motorised version to allow all-round exhibition at dog shows, in your front window etc

* Fully lubricated bum spike

* Meat-flavoured nose-clamp

* Sturdy construction, but packs flat to suit any household

* Cow version available for safe grooming and inspection of cows and other bovine-style fauna

* Allow 28 days for delivery

* £250, comes with a free inflatable Barbara Woodhouse with functioning orifices

* Strictly no refunds

I am not mad.


Gonzoland said...

Does it include dog or is the picture a 'Serving Suggestion"?

Anonymous said...

You are mad. The end.

Dioclese said...

I want one for Christmas - except I don't have a dog.

Does it work with sheep please?

Flaxen Saxon said...

Better make sure the pointy bits are well oiled or you will end up with a dog's arse reamer. Arse.

Robin of Locksley said...

Tell the designer chappie that it's fine for short, stiff dogs but needs some form of underfoot support for anything larger.