Have a dog? Struggle with grooming and access during routine dog inspections? The you need the "Acme" Dog Spigot.
* 360-degree rotation in all axes for thorough inspection and grooming
* Motorised version to allow all-round exhibition at dog shows, in your front window etc
* Fully lubricated bum spike
* Meat-flavoured nose-clamp
* Sturdy construction, but packs flat to suit any household
* Cow version available for safe grooming and inspection of cows and other bovine-style fauna
* Allow 28 days for delivery
* £250, comes with a free inflatable Barbara Woodhouse with functioning orifices
* Strictly no refunds
I am not mad.