Wednesday, January 22, 2003

"Welcome to Airstrip One"

George Orwell was surprisingly on the button. OK, so he was the best part of twenty years out, but his nightmare vision for society of 1984 is just about upon us. Government, if they really wanted to, can follow your every move through TV cameras, logging credit card purchases, tapping your mobile phone and filtering your e-mail.

Life is reduced to a uniform mediocrity of work, drive, TV with a compliant media to feed you what they want you to hear. In America in particular, where the major TV networks and newspaper owners give money to both the major parties, no-one dares ask questions. There is no new Bernstein and Woodward to question the motives and actions of those in power because if Watergate happened now, the story would be ruthlessly spiked. It took foreign media to expose Jeb Bush’s election-winning vote-rigging in Florida, and by then nobody cared, and if the story made the papers, it was on page 32, just next to the funnies.

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"First class ticket to Hell, please"


But where Orwell really got it right was on Big Brother’s need for war. In 1984, The Party knew that Oceania had to be at war permanently, with either Eurasia or Eastasia to keep the proles’ minds off what is going on around them. Bush knows this, so does the Prime Minister of Airstrip One. The war on drugs, the war on terrorism, the war to finish what Daddy started, it's been non-stop, while at home governments have been passing laws to restrict civil liberties under the banner of "If you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear." How long until we get the compulsory Two Minutes Hate and the "Big Brother is Watching You" posters? Are we all the victims of the most outrageous con-trick of all time? Funny how the bad guys always seem to get away...

Crap coincidence corner for the conspiracy theorists: George Bush / George Orwell. Same first name. But Orwell’s read name was Eric Blair. Tony Blair. Same last name. Eek! Manic from Bloggerheads has the US/UK “special relationship” neatly summed up. Apparantly Thatcher and Reagan couldn’t leave it alone either...

WAR IS PEACE - FREEDOM IS SLAVERY - IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH


That’s enough of the heavy stuff. What we need are balloon-head stick people.

Oh, and those of you still blaming Manchester United for killing Rod Hull, apparantly he's getting better. We'll be writing stuff for News at Ten, cos we think they're fabby.


"ARSES!"

The nominations for the 2003 Bloggies are out. And despite well-placed bribery and penguin-flavoured threats, I'm not on the list, and strangely, neither is 2002 winner Wil Wheaton. Am I bothered by the results of a popularity contest where it would be oh-so-easy to stuff the ballot box? You bet I am. ARSES!

Scary says: Vote Fark. The Blogjam site listed under "best merchandise" is not connected to the Blogjam we all know and love, and will soon fall victim to the massed ranks of the Penguin Liberation Front (Officials).

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