On sexy driving
The Fragrant Mrs Duck tells me that my driving's "sexy".
After years of "AAAAARGH! Mind that lamp post!" she's finally come round to my way of thinking and has realised that I'm not so much mounting the pavement but sticking to the racing line.
"Thank you," I say, "Thank you for saying that my driving is sexy."
"No. No I didn't."
"I distinctly heard you tell your dad that I'm an erotic driver."
"Erratic," she says, "Erratic."