Wednesday, February 01, 2017

Donald Trump FACTS!

"Fffff.... fffff.... fffff..."
He's the leader of the free world, keen golfer and host of popular TV show The Apprentice. But DID YOU KNOW...?

- Obama told Trump that bins night was Tuesday, when it's actually Thursday. Donald put the bins out two days early and was fined $100.

- Donald's favourite Indiana Jones film is Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. He also thought A Good Day To Die Hard was a "great movie, one of the best".

- Donald will sign an executive order this week to figure out, exactly, if wrestling is fixed.

- Donald's favourite Strictly Come Dancing professional is Anton du Beke.

- Donald thinks that you sue people for "liable".

- Donald's favourite piece of music is Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries", which he calls the "Kill the Wabbit song".

- Donald has changed the nuclear launch codes to "password", because he knows nobody will think of that.

- Donald believes Louis Walsh when he tells one of his X Factor acts that they're better than The Beatles.

- Donald swears he didn't order those films from Virgin Media, it was his brother Ronald.

- Donald thinks it's still called Emmerdale Farm.

- Donald thinks the White House microwave is a television. He loves that programme about the bowl of nachos.

- Donald thinks it's "lack toast and tolerant". And "peddle stool".

- Donald has launched an urgent Congressional Enquiry into how Toadfish from Neighbours' wife could come back from the dead after all these years when we all saw her go over that cliff in the car.

- Donald's mobile phone ring tone is Crazy Frog.

- Donald calls Loughborough "Looga-barooga"

Let's hear it for Donald Trump!


longdog said...

Donald Trump has a pathological terror of Monster Munch sandwiches. He has team of Secret Service agents sweep the Whitehouse every hour with pickled onion detectors.

Anonymous said...

But that is how Loughborough is pronounced, isn't it?

Dioclese said...

If Donald Trump did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him...

TRT said...

His executive order to rename Washington as Trumpton is currently suspended pending a copyright judgment made by the BBC.

Anonymous said...

Trump knows Wagner, even via Loony Tunes? I think you are giving him far too much credit for being a cultured human being.

I suspect that Trump's line on music boils down to "Why can I hear noises when I am not talking? Can sound come from elsewhere? Nah. Doesn't matter. I can have it deported later after I am finished with the Mexicans."

Anonymous said...

"His executive order to rename Washington as Trumpton is currently suspended pending a copyright judgment made by the BBC."

Never forget the victims of the Camberwick Green Massacre. 4eva in r harts.

Unknown said...

Superficial, dear.
Lemme tella youse summore without d'New Joisey accent what's not superficial:

Who the HELL wants Hell??? Nasty darkness,eternal starvation,and Satan lies like a Persian rug.Only 2 realms afterour lifelong demise(besides Purgatorywhich A-L-L shall be released)...and 1 of em aint too cool.To win your immortal fight,choose the Light, choose RITE.Meet this ex-mortal Upstairsfor the most extra guhroovy,pleasure-beyond-measure,party-hardy-reality-addiction 24/7you DO NOT wanna miss, earthling.Cya soon...