Desert Island Discs
The awful realisation that I am a Radio Four listener has come of a bit of a shock to me. Still, I'd better make the most of it by writing a number of pedantic letters to the controller over the use of the Queen's English on The Archers. Or I could start this post all over again…
Traffic Island Discs
Following a bizarre set of circumstances involving a kebab shop, a local government funding crisis and a semi-inflated space-hopper, you have found yourself bricked up in a disused public convenience on a traffic island in Reading town centre (there are at least two that I know of - take your pick). Assuming that you have a reasonable supply of food and bog paper, which three CDs, one book and one luxury item would you have with you?
* David Bowie - Hunky Dory
Bowie's best work in my humble opinion, before he went mad, took far too many drugs and started dressing up like Hitler's corrupt Aunt.
* Boo Radleys - Giant Steps
Or, 101 things you can do with a guitar amplifier. Ear-splitting, tender, wonderful, and the best use of the words "Faye Dunaway", ever.
* Saint Etienne - Smash the System
It's a Greatest Hits package from a band that didn't have that many hits. But it's got the luscious, pouting Sarah Cracknell on it, and that's all that counts.
* Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett - Good Omens
A toss-up between this incredibly satisfying work, and Orwell's 1984, but when you're trapped in the lav, you'll go for laughs every time.
* A half-built 1:72 scale Airfix Mil-24 helicopter kit
I've been working on this bloody thing off-and-on for the last twenty-five years. Every time I move house or have a sort-out, I find it in my old model-making biscuit tin and tell myself I'm really going to finish it this time. I'm up to sticking on the rotor blades.
Space To Let (toilet!) in the comments…
Tomorrow, the Radio 4 theme continues with The Archers. Or the Shipping Forecast. Dunno.