"And a picture of a dog's bottom"
In lieu of a Thursday vote-o on account of being far too busy doing things with fire-resistant plasterboard (which may or may not end up inserted into a council building control inspector at some point), I instead ask the question that will bring society to its knees. Doggy style.
So: what is the gayest thing you've ever done?
I demand that you confront our inner homo. Go on. You know you want to. He's/She's lovely, is good with colours, and won't touch your private parts unless he asks first.
You may, of course, claim that you are as straight as a die, say you've never watched Torchwood, and state that you once refused to go on holiday to Brighton. That's fine. We'll just accept that you're in denial, an' all that.
And speaking of De Nile (geddit?):
My confess-o: I had to dress up as an Egyptian slave in a school stage production of Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. This involved wearing nothing but a girl's white gym skirt, whilst being lightly-oiled with fake tan lotion.
"It's not sissy" said Mrs Jones, "They used to dress like this all the time."
"The great bunch of girls."
All these years later, I still wake up in a cold sweat, my mind's eye locked on the way my fellow slave "Rocky" Richards was looking at me. If only he knew. I'd scratch his eyes out.
Come on girls! Confess me up!