Monday, September 22, 2014

The Poo-seidon Adventure

R2-D2 grew to hate his part-time job
After a week in Greece, I have learned two things about my chosen holiday destination.

1. Greece gave the world great poets, philosophers and writers such as Socrates, Herodotus and Sappho. In recent years, they seem to have lost their way a bit. As such, Greece only has two kinds of popular music. Greek pop music, which is awful and should be destroyed with fire and sticks; and classic soft rock, which gnaws at your psyche like a stalky, gnawing thing as you start to worry that you haven't heard Extreme's "More Than Words" for a couple of hours and it's due another airing. Classic soft rock should also be destroyed with fire and sticks.

2. Greece also gave the world great thinkers such as Archimedes, Hero of Alexandria and whoever came up with the bright idea of a giant horse on wheels as a device to win a war. In recent years, you could say they've lost their way a bit on the whole-thinking-things-through-in-the-bath thing as well. How, then, could you explain the modern Greek sewer system that means it cannot cope with anything larger than the average turd, meaning you've got to wipe your bottom and put the paper in a poo bucket.

I repeat: The birthplace of civilisation makes you wipe your bum and PUT IT IN A POO BUCKET.

However, Greece makes up for this awful shortfall by having Ouzo, so you're too drunk to be disgusted by having to wipe your bottom and put it in a poo bucket. The worst thing you can do, though, is kick over the poo bucket when drunk, so it's swings and roundabouts.

Apart from these minor gripes: GREECE, everybody, let's hear it for Greece!


Dioclese said...

Yep. Ouzo is good. With a handle like mine, what would you expect me to say?..

Anonymous said...

A relative who went to Paris a while back told me the restaurant's toilet was in the basement -- a hole in the ground with a small area for the placement of your feet. A person had better have good knees is all I can say to that.

aw912345 said...

I was working in Seoul some years ago and yes, they have a shitty paper bin as well, except it was not covered.

But the funniest thing was the huge pot on the sink full of toothbrushes - I did not dare ask if it was first come best toothbrush...

Ole Phat Stu said...

"I repeat: The birthplace of civilisation makes you wipe your bum and PUT IT IN A POO BUCKET."

Wh<y would I want to put my (clean,wiped) bum in a poo bucket?