Tuesday, September 16, 2014


Man alive, I love holiday tat shops, especially at the end of the season when all that's left is the unsellable items which have been sitting, fading on the shelf since about 2005, hoping that somebody will pass looking to complete their Beyblade collection, or are after a doll with poor standards of spelling. 

Then there's this monstrosity:

Flashback to the Guangdong Lucky Toy and Rocket Fuel Concern, eight years ago. The production line is at a halt and a panicked supervisor explains all to the boss...

"We've got a shitload of dolls' bodies but no heads, boss. Damn head supplier's let us down again."

"What else have we got?"

"There's 20,000 assorted dogs' heads but I don't think ..."

"Do it"

"But the kiddiewinks - they'll have nightmares. It's like something from The Island of Doctor Moreau. We can 't possibly..."


"Don't come running to me when somebody takes the piss out of them on the internet."

"DO. IT."


Richard said...

But...but...What did they call it?

Alistair Coleman said...

Dog-Headed Happy Girl.

Alistair Coleman said...

Real answer: Pinkie Cooper and the Jet Set Pets.

Keith said...

I've seen worse looking real girls that that; and better looking dogs!

Flaxen Saxon said...

Shock, horror, Mr Mallard, it seems Tipton has been taking on board too much malarkey of our northern Celtic cousins. There is no god (literally- note the lower case).


Flaxen Saxon said...

Tis sad, but I've seen worse. Every doll needs to be loved. Where is 'Pandy Loo'. When I was young, Pandy was a constant companion, until wrenched out of my cold clammy hands by mommy, when I was 26. We all need to move on, I know, tis healthy, after all. We need to move on and form emotional and sexual bonds with girls called, Pandy Loo. Still searching...