It’s coming up to that time of year again – Guy Fawkes Night - with the skies over Scary Mansion rent with flying ordinance. So let me be the first to remind you: KIDS! Don’t play with fireworks!
You must never – and let me be absolutely clear about this - NEVER fit your bikes up with launcher tubes, all kinds of rockets and airbombs and re-enact the Battle of el-Alamein down your local kids’ playground until the park-keeper calls the police. That would be a bad thing.
And I cannot stress how much of a Bad Thing it would be to carefully insert a demonic French banger underneath a huge pile of dog shit and then light the fuse and scarper just as a little old lady walks past. Especially if, unknown to you, said little old lady happens to be a very good friend of your parents.
That is all.