So I went to the wedding of Mrs Scary's best friend this weekend. It was a beautiful, beautiful affair. The moment when the happy couple left the church and immediately went to pay their respects at the grave of James's grandparents was perhaps the most touching thing I have ever seen, a private moment surrounded by dozens of friends. It brought a tear to the eye. In a non-girly way, I might add.
Unfortunately, at the reception we were sat with four Bridget Jones clones who spent four hours discussing their diets, their men (lack of), their aspirations to become theatrical dressers and the hope that one day they might become interesting. I nodded, I smiled, and I even managed to laugh politely in all the right places, even if Mrs Scary had long given up.
However, by the time the discussion of "What's the best film ever made?" had gone into its second hour, I too had had enough. I must admit that even after gamely sitting through complex Weightwatchers points calculations for the entire afternoon and the aesthetic merits of Robbie Williams's arse, I completely lost it.
"In the name of God! Pretty Woman is not - repeat IS NOT a modern fairy tale about true love and the American Dream. It's a sordid little movie about a man who drives around picking up prostitutes. He's a kerbcrawler! A sex pervert! He probably even had a small rodent stuffed up his arse while he was at it. And I'd better sit down now because everybody's staring at me..."
Mrs Scary let me off with a warning, because she's just about the only woman in the world who agrees with me on this one.
And the Bridget Joneses were wrong too. As we all know, the best film ever made, voted for by a respected jury of drunk party dudes was Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Or Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. I can't decide. Flip a coin.
"Filthy Lucre Update Update"
Many thanks for all your kind comments about the site. Apart from the spicy brains here, my mailbox is overflowing at fastmail. I WILL get back to you if you've mailed me. The hit counter is still going mental as my page is linked from the top of www.blogger.com, so loading may a bit slow and you may still have problems accessing www.scaryduck.com for a bit while I sort out the bandwidth.
I got a supportive e-mail from the guys at Portland Search and Rescue Helicopter, which is under threat of being cut by the UK Coastguard Agency, putting local lives at risk. Do us a favour while you're here: visit my campaign website and sign the petition. Cheers!
Marcelim: The picture is Chesil Beach in Dorset, UK. Scary's house is on the extreme right of the shot on the far coast, and the Portland Helicopter base is dead centre, which is why it’s an issue so close to my heart.