The BBC has finally unveiled its list of "Great Britons", the great and good who have made this country the shambles (surely "triumph"? - ed) that it is today. So how come Robbie Williams is in the Top 100 and placed rather higher than Sir Walter Raleigh? Perhaps Raleigh shouldn't have spent all his time exploring, soldiering and putting his cape over puddles for the queen, and knuckled down to write poptastic hit songs like "Rock DJ".
The rather worthy top nine plus Princess Di is here, and according to the Daily Torygraph, my own personal hero Sir Ernest Shackleton came in eleventh, miles ahead of his great rival Captain Robert Falcon Scott.
To cap the whole thing off, it's a little known fact that ITV, to the sound of scraping barrels, have been planning their own "spoiler" programme with its own list of Great Britons, and I can exclusively reveal their top ten choices here:
* Delboy Trotter
* Michael Barrymore
* Jade from Big Brother
* Ant and Dec (who are joined at the hip and count as one person)
* Des Lynam
* Gareth Gates
* Victoria Beckham
* Carol Vorderman
* Sir Les Battersby
* Cilla Black
Vote for your favourite at any participating Argos or Matalan store, or send in the coupon in this week's edition of TV Quick!