On Doneing a Poo, and Knock Knock jokes

On Doneing a Poo

Superb exit velocity.

Optimum density.

Excellent content with just the right floater-to-sinker ratio with a first-class landing skid as a tell-tale to subsequent users.

It’s at times like this that you just want to jump up and tell the world that yours is the from the A-List of Poos. A King of Dumps. The Emperor of the Lands of the White Porcelain. The President, indeed, of the United States of America.

A bell, perhaps. Or a gong, even. Or – how about this - a red flashing light outside the cubicle.

The disabled can’s got both a bell and a flashing light, and I bet the gong's on order – WHY CAN’T WE?

In fact, the light’s been flashing for the last three days following what is obviously the poo of them all.

Ah.


Door

It’s no good. I’ve got the world’s worst ‘Knock Knock’ joke and I’ve got to tell somebody. Somebody at the other end of a computer who won’t kick my head in:

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Knock
Knock who?
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Knock
Knock who?
Continue forever

The world’s best ‘Knock Knock’ joke, as we all know, goes like this:

Knock knock
Who’s there?
I Dunnap
I Dunnap who?
Well, wash your hands then.

Sorry. Oh go on then, suggest-o!