"Oh God, No", again
I know I shouldn't keep banging on about my vasectomy and my attempts to become a jaffa, especially since you're having a scotch egg for lunch, but I got a letter from Dorset County Hospital the other day.
"Thank you for your latest sample. Unfortunately, the lid came off in the laboratory…"
Oh God. NO!
Do they not realize the inconvenience I have to go through to get a jar-full of man-sauce all the way to Dorchester just for some junior technician to mistake it for a bottle of mayonnaise? Do they not realise that to fill said jar with gravy whilst Mrs Scary sits downstairs, coat on, car keys at the ready, my face resembling the death scene from a Dennis Potter play is the most joyless exercise in the whole world? Do they? They do not.
I am told by my esteemed colleagues that "I should have screwed the lid on tighter." Au contraire, screwing was the first thing on my mind.
The Quest for Jaffa continues.