At 10am yesterday morning, in the name of SCIENCE I deposited a 1p piece in a urinal at London's none-more-posh Dorchester Hotel, and checked on it periodically throughout the day. At 4.30pm, it was still there, proving conclusively, through theapplication of SCIENCE that The Dorchester Hotel is Not Pikey At All.
This procedure forms part of an irregular experiment to determine the Official Pikey Quotient of any pub, restaurant or hotel in the United Kingdom, for publication in a future Egon Ronay guide.
The experiment comprises the depositing of a small denomination coin in the gentlemen's urinal of said carefully chosen establishment, and measuring how much time passes before the coin is removed.
Points may be scored based on the denomination of the coin; the time period between deposition and removal; repeated removal of increasingly lower denomination coins; and (difficult one, this) whether monies are removed by staff or by customers.
Current Leaderboard:
Enormously Pikey: Weymouth Railway Workers' Social Club (1p, 5 minutes)
Moderately Pikey: Garfunkels, Paddington (Three 2p pieces over the space of one hour)
A Bit Pikey: The White Horse, Reading (5p, 30 minutes)
Not Pikey At All: The Dorchester, London ("I'm sorry sir, none of our guests feel the need to carry loose change")
We find ourselves, at this moment in time, at a loose end regarding future dabblings in the world of SCIENCE. What, we ask, should we be investigating next?
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