Monday, April 28, 2008

On outraging public sensibilities

On outraging public sensibilities

Caveat: If you do not know what "Goatse" is, then you will have no idea what this post is about. If you are of a sensitive nature, I would strongly advise you not to look it up on Google, for it will almost certainly strip away every last piece of innocence that your soul once possessed.

Just take it from me – for I had my innocence stripped away long ago – that a picture of a grown man doing strange things to his bottom is neither big nor clever.

This pain-free, safe for work Wikipedia page tells you everything you didn't want to know.

The picture you see here is the English county of Dorset, the home of your humble author on the south coast of these islands.

The county, such that it is, finds itself casting envious eyes to the west, where it sees Devon and its cousin-licking neighbour Cornwall possessing their own flag. In fact, you see the black-and-white Cornish flag of St Piran on cars all over the West Country and beyond.

Why not – suggested – a chap to the County Council have members of the public submit their own suggestions? His white cross on a yellow background looks like we are surrendering, and judging by the annual invasion of Swindon and Bristol charvers every summer, he is probably right.

A flag, you say? Naturally, I took the only course of action a morally corrupt layabout would: Pretend I was a 12-year-old kid and knock out something based on a notorious internet shock site in MS Paint:

I am mostly calling it Hands across the County (although, I realise "Go See Dorset" is tons better), as an illustration of the inclusive, welcoming nature of Dorset society, and it is not – repeat NOT - a crude representation of a man's bum-hole.

You know the drill: Give me sixty-nine comments and the County Council gets it.

On a point of order: The new Scaryduckworth-Lewis List for Rating Things for Excellence - IT IS HERE

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