There is a sign outside our local pub which has been there since early September:
"It's never too early to book your Christmas party"
Let's see about that, shall we?
"Good afternoon, Mein Host," I say, trowelling on the smarm, "I'd like to book a Christmas party, please."
"Right you are, squire," Mein Host replies, returning my smarm in spades "I'll just get the diary."
There is a lot of smarm going on. If we were to start a double act, we would be called the Smarm Brothers.
"I'm afraid I'm a bit early."
"No sir," he says, quoting from his own sign, "It's It's never too early to book your Christmas party. When do you want it?"
"Let's make it a week before the big day," I tell him, as he flips the diary open, smarmily.
"December 18th? Right you are."
All pretence of smarm is gone. I fear that the Smarm Brothers idea is already dead in the water.
"December 18th, 2016. It's never too early to book your Christmas party."
"I'm sick of you loonies*. Get out."
"I'm sure we can do 2015, as well."
don't know what he means. However, if you want to see a genuine
political leader in red-hot pub action, it is the local of the superb
Howling Laud Hope.