Thursday, April 18, 2013

The benefits of having a stomach ulcer

...are very few and far between, so I am grasping at any coming my way. Mixed with enormous stress, it adds up to a night in Frimley Park Hospital, so anything that doesn't point to an impending meeting with the Grim Reaper is more than welcome.

And it is this: I fit into 34 inch waist trousers for the first time in a decade.

Bear with me* on this: Smaller appetite, plus doneing a poo at least five times a days means the weight has fallen off me, and I find myself having to pull up my trousers every five minutes and put another hole in my belt.

Before long, I'll be posting one of those Slimmer of the Year photos where the former bloater is standing in front of a "before" cut-out, while wearing a voluminous pair of trousers in a literal demonstration of their titanic weight loss.

This isn't going anywhere, I just want to be smug.

Smugness, being one of the few benefits of a month of hideous agony. I've earned this smugness.

* no, really. There's a bear with me aaaaaaaaargh


The Virgin and not a total whore, Mary of Nazereth said...

That's a nice purple top you have on there. Where did you get it?

WrathofDawn said...

Don't call me until there's a lion and tiger, too.

But WOO HOO for the 34" waist. You svelt little sex kitten, you.

Devyn Price said...

If it makes you feel any better, my son was born in Frimley Park Hospital. There is no reason that bit of information should not perk you right up.