Monday, July 01, 2013

On in-store music, again

To The Range, the lo-fi warehouse shopping experience for people nostalgic for Woolworths.

Alas, our ears were assaulted by the combination of middle-of-the-road pop hits over a tinny speaker system, rattling air conditioning, and JML promotional TV screens at the end of virtually every aisle.

I have clearly crossed the line into old fartness, but the din was so great we were unable to hold a conversation, something that is often a necessity for a two-person shopping experience.

So cross was I that I nearly said something.

While there was no indication on the doors of Aldershot's finest tat emporium of the din inside, there are now shops willing to advertise the lack of taste in store for customers.

One such shop is in Reading, where, just as I was about to enter, I read the sign:

OPEN! We listen to Heart FM!

I bloody well don't, because it is the aural equivalent of a frontal lobotomy.

Thanking the shop owners for their manners, I made a quick U-turn and left.

If only more retail businesses would do the same 


Andy Todd said...

It's the 21st century. The fact that you still go to shops tells us all we need to know about your fartiness.

Mulled Vine said...

Have you considered ear plugs? :)

The work for me, though do make me look a bit foolish when I grin inanely at the chattering check-out dollies.

Macheath said...

In recent weeks, particularly since the onset of Heart FM's bid for world domination, I have taken to fighting fire with fire and, when out shopping, treating myself (and anyone unfortunate enough to be in the vicinity) to my own rendition of the works of Tim Minchin or Tom Lehrer.

Trust me, it works a treat!

PlankTown said...

Macheath: It's never too early for 'Hark the Herald Tribune sings'.

Dioclese said...

Inspirational. You're spot on and definitely one for the Shitipedia!

You wouldn't like Debenhams either...