Monday, December 02, 2013

My EXCELLENT James Bond idea

With the Doctor Who 50th anniversary special now behind us, with a climax that featured all twelve thirteen Doctors, I'm certain that other entertainment franchises could take heed and try out this idea for themselves.

To this end, I've written to Eon Productions with my spunker of an idea:
Dear Eon,

Please be like Doctor Who and make a James Bond film featuring all six regenerations of 007. That would be totally awesome.
With the world under threat from an unstoppable Robo-Blofeld, 007 needs to recruit all five of his previous incarnations to bring SPECTRE's ruthless plan to destroy the global economy to its knees. In an adventure across space and time, helped and hindered by both M and Q, he teams up with half a dozen Pussy Galore clones to track down Robo-Blofeld to an undersea base or something. Before blowing it up, or something. You can do the details.

Only Q knows Bond's dreadful secret – the secret agent is a clone dragged out of deep-freeze as each incarnation is "retired" and supposedly destroyed. But why are all six Bonds still on active service? And am I the only Q?

Of course, nothing can possibly stand in the way of Connery, Moore, Dalton, Brosnan, Craig and the other one, victory is assured and the merch sales go through the roof.

A win-win for everybody, I think you'll agree.

I am not mad.

Your pal,

Albert O'Balsam (Licence to Kill)

PS To reflect the current reality within the security services, the final 45 minutes will comprise nothing but Daniel Craig Bond doing paperwork and filing his travel expenses.

This is going to be the cinematic event of the century, mark my words.


Audrey said...

It's got my vote. But really, I want to see the parallel film in which they bring back all of his previous love interests who immediately get into a sexy cat fight in a baby oil factory before finally realising that the person they should really be mad at is Bond, before tearing him a new one in a variety of sexy and perverted ways.

EspotOndotCo said...

Dear Mr O'Balsam,
Thank you for your recent email. Please note that we sell electricity and the only Bonds that we have are Offshore. I suggest that you try National Savings.
B Fry

Steve said...

You forgot David Niven.

Zimmer said...

Yes, David Niven. Didn't he appear in a Bond Film as a retired James Bond along with a few more Bond's ? I guess that means your concept has already been done..
ps. The opening to that film was filmed on location in Bracknell High St. (another of your old haunts). I remember spending an hour or two watching a car run into a fruit barrow at the corner of High St. and Station Road by the old Regal Cinema. long since demolished..just as they have recently demolished the Broadway..
Do they always knock down towns once they find out you have been there???