Now, I've written about B&Q's music before, specifically how they take medium sized hits and album tracks and throw them to a covers band to make almost-but-not-quite soundalike versions which are inflicted on the general public. The result is a cross between "Hey - I know this song. But that's not The Verve, is it? Is it?"
"The Verve? More like 'The Bloody Nerve'. Am I right? Eh? EH?"
So, as the chap was trying to find the second cheapest bath taps on the computer system, the immortal opening line came from the speaker system: "It was Christmas Eve babe, in the drunk tank...
Jane: "That's not actually The Pogues, is it?"
Me: "Can't be. He doesn't sound like he's been gargling with gravel and vodka"
Jane: "That's not Kirsty MacColl either. More like WORSTY MacColl"
Poor, dead Kirsty.
Then came a version of Merry Christmas (War is Over) that made you want to start a war.
Then came a version of Merry Christmas (War is Over) that made you want to start a war.
Never change your music, B&Q, it's a conversation
starter.
6 comments:
Pretty much every version of Merry Christmas (War is Over) makes me want to start a war.
Lord t'underin' Jaysus b'y, it's "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)"! There's nowt 'merry' or 'christ' about it!
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a9/Happy_Xmas_%28War_is_Over%29.jpg
I'm so distraught I can't be arsed to provide y'all with a live hyperlink to that page.
I too wish to start wars in retribution for aural assaults by poor covers of classics. Alas, Mr. Duck, any war would, at best, result only in a pyrrhic victory. The real ones cost more and the resultant expense would be transferred straight through to the consumer. I know how these capitalists work - the filthy swine!
I would, however, quite enjoy a cover of the Electric Six classic by, say, Iron Maiden or perhaps Megadeath.
Innit?
Let's start a war, start a nuclear war,
At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.
Wow!
At the gay bar.
Now Tell me do ya?, but do ya have any money?
I wanna spend all your money,
At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.
Yep - you just correctly identified why this little gem was written..
http://dioclese.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/the-dioclese-christmas-song-2013.html
"If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning..."
Talking of pork, Alistair, what's happening with Sky Meat Woman these days ?
Robin: We got a Christmas card from her. She called me "Pete". We sent her one back from Dave.
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