Saturday, September 20, 2014

Attack of the invisible mutant blood-sucking insects

"Don't pick at your insect bites or they'll go scabby."

So I picked at my insect bites and they went scabby. And that is the story of this holiday (apart from the amazing hotel, the sea views, the enormous sunsets and all the kebabs a man can eat).

And there's no stopping these fiendish Greek mosquitos, who find their way through any defence known to man: Layers of clothes, wreaths of garlic, a foul-smelling concoction in a bottle called "Bugger Off".

The worst thing is that I have not seen a single one of the dozens of these little bastards that have sucked at my blood. They're invisible, indestructible, and - given enough time - deadly.  People who have booked the 14 day holiday are so anaemic as to be entirely see through when you hold them up to a light. 

Serves us right booking a holiday next door to Dr Doom's Invisible Blood-Sucking Insect Lab (Days since last escape of invisible blood-sucking insects: One).


Flaxen Saxon said...

But Sir, isn't the scratching an exquisite pleasure in it self? Oh to stand in mossie infested swamps to understand the real meaning of existence.... Lesser folk, scratch at will. But purer souls maintain the effort, and discipline, and apply a light abrasive to each welt. Isn't pleasure and pain the middle bit on those pesky Venn diagrams?

Dioclese said...

I gather that New Zealand sandflies are considerably more savage than even this...

Flaxen Saxon said...

Indeed they are Mr D, and I have the scars to prove it.

Anonymous said...

Having left what seems like several gallons of my blood in the Cyclades through these vicious little bastards, now prepare for future visits by eating Marmite, on toast or in sandwiches, 2 weeks before travel and during my stay. It has worked on our last two visits. A small price to pay for a bite free holiday (I find Greek brandy takes the taste away!).