Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Songs around the old camp fire

So, two weeks in the Lake District at a peaceful five-flag camp site in the shadow of the mighty Blencathra.

It offered everything the modern camper requires: a quiet shop, a toilet block, somewhere to empty your chemical lav, and internet that cost almost (but not quite) an arm and a leg.

Yes. The toilet block. It being a posh site (We had to join a club to gain access to the place, confirming my emerging old git status), somebody thought it would be a nice idea to pipe music into the toilets, the showers and the washing-up area.

It soon became clear that they only had one CD - a collection of middle of the road classics with a few Radio 2 favourites thrown in - played over and over again. There's only so many times you can listen to Walking in Memphis while taking a dump without going absolutely mental.

Several days into our ordeal by soft rock, I discovered that the CD player was in a small room marked "private" next to the gents' showers. I hatched a plan. All it needed was an Allen key, about half an hour's peace-and-quiet to remove a door and a suitable replacement disc.

Or, I could just wait for the day the cleaners accidentally left the room unlocked.
Tough on MOR music, tough on the causes of MOR music
And, thus armed with a copy of The Smurfs Go Pop, a lucky find at the Keswick Branch of Oxfam (who incurred a sharp intake of breath and not unwarranted Twitter criticism for filing Boney M under 'M'), that the plan sprung into action.

What a beautiful noise.

The next day, the middle of the road classics had returned, and the service room was tightly locked.


Bun Karyudo said...

Pity you couldn't get their very fine follow-up CD, "The Smurfs Go Plop!"

rashbre said...

What a brilliant plan and the track sounds even better than I could have imagined.