The Star Wars Universe and the Father Ted Universe are the same Universe

A headline in today's Dorset Echo, the local paper for the Weymouth, Dorchester and West Dorset areas, asks: Has the Death Star washed up on a Dorset Beach?

As any student of Betteridge's Law of Headlines will tell you, this is a classic example of a question that can only be answered 'no'. Of course it's not the Death Star washed up not a million miles from Billy Bragg's house.

Or is it?

If there is anything Father Ted has taught us, size is relative, and that could actually be the Death Star bobbing about in the English Channel and not a buoy broken free of its mooring, an explanation which is clearly nonsense.

The point is that George Lucas never told us how tall people are in his galaxy long long ago and far far away. Gravity there is almost certainly different to gravity on our humble planet, and Luke and Darth and Han and Leia might only be a few inches tall. you know: The same size as their Earthly action figures.

That opens up the possibility that the globe washed up in Dorset actually is a discarded, fully operational full-sized Death Star, which has floated through space down the millennia and crashed into the sea on an obscure planet in the Milky Way galaxy. Near Bridport.

A genuine, real-life example of the Small-Far Away Phenomenon so clearly demonstrated by Ted and Dougal. 

And if you follow incontrovertible logic, this means that the Star Wars Universe is the same universe as the Father Ted Universe, and that Father Jack is of The Dark Side.

I am not mad.