Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Wanky Website Awards

The Wanky Website Awards 2004

The internet is now more than a few years old, and there are any number of easy-to-use packages that allow even the most fuckwitted of users to knock out a website without too much trouble. So, why then, are there still so many websites that look like they've been slapped together by David Blunkett Web Design Services?

Animated gifs.
Scrolling messages
Hideous backgrounds and uncropped 800kB images
Green text on a blue background *cough*
More pointless banner ads than you can shake a shitty stick at
Brazen attempts to fit a site's entire content on one page
Dodgy awards *double cough*

It must stop. Now.

The time has come to do something about this menace to society. These websites must be named and shamed for the good of the Internet.

Aaaaaargh! - If you're in two minds about taking a holiday in Dorset, then this page is exactly what you need to put you right off. Designed by Anna Ryder-Richardson's colourblind, brain damaged evil twin, this, according to a web-designing acquiantance is "crapper than crap. If crap was a Mercedes, this would be a Ford Capri." Check out the awards page. They've got awards. "Best viewed on 1024x768" because they can't imagine that people use anything else. Still, consider yourselves lucky 800x600 users, you ARE saved the full horror.

But I take your go2morrow dot com and raise you Miss Sarah Jane Newbury - career virgin. "There is music on every page of this web site so please switch your speakers on" - the words "bunny" and "boiler" immediately spring to mind, as do "fucking", "dog's" and "dinner". I would like to point out at this juncture that I have never slandered her. My defence shall be the casual observation of the bleedin' obvious.

Your contributions warmly received.

No comments: