Monday, May 03, 2010

On things that really annoy me that shouldn't

On things that really annoy me that shouldn't

No.1: When you go to the toilet and find the previous user's I-don't-want-to-catch-a-hideous-disease toilet paper still spread over the seat.

Look, we've had hovercraft for well over half a century now – why can't SCIENCE come up with some sort of arrangement where you can "sit" on a cushion of air a couple of centimetres about the seat?

I'm certain James Dyson and his cyclone technology wallahs are all over this most urgent of technological developments, my own experiments being marred with the unfortunate re-insertion of ...err... waste matter that will be dealt with by the courts any day now.

They never have that problem on the Starship Enterprise. Scotty just beams it into the heart of a black hole, or something, and everybody's happy. Star Trek Tech has a habit of becoming real centuries before its time, so GET TO WORK, BOFFINS.

The next person to suggest "Do it standing up, like the French" will be burned as a BLASPHEMER.

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