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"And the first item on the agenda, ladies and gentlemen, is the most pressing issue affecting the image of this organisation.
"Despite the repeated warnings on numerous occasions, I can count no less than three of you wearing socks and sandals in this meeting room alone."
Guilty looks, shuffling feet.
"Now, I am a forgiving sort of person. I notice that two of you have tried to hide your filthy habit with long trousers and socks the same colour as your footwear.
"Consider yourselves on duble secret probation."
A tremulous finger points to a quivering individual at the back of the room.
"And as for you..."
Brown sandals.
Red socks.
Three-quarter-length khaki cargo trousers.
Two inches of skinny white leg.
Time stands still.
*SPANG!*
"Thank you, for your intervention, Miss White.
"Now, as I said, there are two of you wearing socks and sandals in this room alone. Let us move onto the next item of the agenda with that warning ringing in your ears... "
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