Right you scum. While the Duck's off flying south for the week, there's gonna be a few changes round here. Number One: I'm in charge. Moderately Evil Penguin and his cohorts of fear, arch nemesis to that big girl's blouse, the so-called Scary Duck. Number Two: There is no number two, an' what you gonna do about that, ya bunch of jessies?
My mission as Moderately Evil Dictator of the Organisation of Moderately Evil Penguins (Officials) is simple:
* World domination by the end of fiscal year 2004/5
* A total ban on penguins wearing bow-ties
* The keys to any spare weapons of mass destruction that Saddam Hussein doesn't want any more
* Membership of the Axis of Moderately Evil (currently comprising Laos, Uzbekistan, Venezuela and Burger King)
* More fish
Antarctica is already ours, puny humans. Give us the weapons, and our myriad legion with shaprened beaks and none of that penguins-in-bow-ties business will surge forth from their secret bases (known to you as "zoos"), and pluck out the gizzards of the nearest fishmonger. And don't say we didn't warn you.