Friday, April 18, 2003


My PC is still in several large non-functioning pieces all over Nigel's workshop, so updates will be pretty sparse over the Easter period. This time will be spent in the loving bosom of my family, scraping shit off the carpet now that Scarydog's finally moved in with us. When I return, I shall be posting one of the following stories. Vote for your favourite in the "Speak Your Brains" box below, bearing in mind that at least two of them haven't actually been written yet:

* Ford - Swim for your life woe
* Cow - Farmyard shit woe
* Lucky Bag - Princess Diana saved my bollocks woe
* Firestarter - exactly what it says on the tin. A tin which ended up exploding all over the place ...err... woe

In the meantime --- Happy Easter!

First class ticket to Hell, please

"An Open Letter to Captain Scarlet"

This is the Voice of the Mysterons. We know that you can hear us, Earthmen. And to say that we are really, really quite peeved is a toal understatement. Mrs Mysteron says she had only just shampooed the lounge carpet the other Tuesday, and you came tramping in from the garden with your muddy boots all over the place. If you think we’re coming over for your candlelit soiree on Saturday night without an apology, Mrs Mysteron says you’ve got another thing coming.

Besides, we did ask you and the lovely Mrs Scarlet to paint your front door pink, just for us, and you went and left it that unsightly green colour. Mrs Mysteron had one of her turns when she saw that, because it just doesn't go with the hall curtains and it brings down the tone of the entire neighbourhood. And frankly, if you hadn’t have loaned us that fondue set when Captain and Mrs Black come over at Whitsun weekend, we really don’t know how we could show our faces around Surbiton.

Toby and Perdita say hello, by the way. Young Toby’s over that rather unpleasant Morocco business, and we are no longer persona non grata at the Rotary Club now that Perdita’s given up her dancing career. See you at the Gymkhana on Sunday then? Send our regards to Audrey!

PS The missiles are in the air. You have sixteen hours to save the Earth.

The Scaryduck Archive

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