Scaryduck Jr is seven years old, but is already displaying signs that I may have corrupted him. On April 1st, he went into school and convinced his entire class that they were "going on a trip to the pie factory", a gag that I promise on my dog’s life I had absolutely nothing to do with. Honestly. He further embellished the story with the promise that everyone would be getting "a free pie to take home" in whatever flavour they liked, while one of the classes in year three would be taking in the delights of the local fishmongers with similar offers of free fish.
His teacher had a word with us after school.
New Scaryduckness tomorrow. Please register your vote for "Rocket", "The Bloke Behind Me" and the hot-off-the-presses "Swept Away" in the Speak Your Brains section.
Neer too ashamed to plug my own output, so BUY MY STUFF! or Pengor will demonstrate why he's a penguin with issues.
"Dolphin Sex Update"
Haven't had a dolphin sex update for ages, this report from my local rag the Dorset Echo may explain why:
Dolphin Randy is feared dead
Randy the dolphin - the playful adult bottlenose who became a celebrity - is feared dead today. Rumours abound that one of Dorset's most famous natural attractions, who pursued a love affair with people and boat propellers, has gone to the great ocean in the sky. His death has not yet been confirmed but wildlife experts fear the worst after hearing Randy may have been involved in a boat accident. Randy, so-called because of his attraction to women wearing rubber wetsuits, shot to stardom when he first arrived in Weymouth last Easter, nearly one year ago.
Randy's last reported movements were in the Netherlands just before Christmas when he was spotted in Dinterloord harbour and a rescue boat was mobilised to take him back out to sea. A WSPA spokesman said: "We've heard rumours that Randy was killed after being involved in some kind of boat accident.
Arses. The General Synopsis, on the other hand, is good. (2MB download, but worth every second of Braces Tower's genius).