Wednesday, April 16, 2003

"A Scarier Kind of Duck"

Demon Duck of Doom
Who said TV's been dumbed down? There I was, nicely settled in front of the box last night, when I happened across a gem of a programme called "Monsters We Met on BBC2. It's a documentary type thing speculating how ancient man coped with - and generally killed off - whopping great spiky toothed animals back in the dawn of time.

Last night it showed the first Aboriginal settlers to Australia some 70,000 years ago. I've got an enormous respect for these people, they travelled in large numbers across at least 300 miles of sea to a place that has one million and one ways of killing you in a time where your average European was having trouble rubbing two sticks together, let alone thinking of new ways to mess up the world.

It was when the first settlers, in a vividly computer-generated sequence encountered the Bullockornis or Genyornis that I sat up in my chair. For this two tonne giant is more commonly known as The Demon Duck of Doom. So what happened to this gentle giant, which undoubtedly tastes pretty good, if a little stringy, in a delicate orange sauce? The programme was rather less than forthcoming about the fate of this duck's ancestors, but I am pretty sure of the one course of action they took. They fucked it and ate it.

I had a direct complaint today about the content of this site. Tom says he wants filth, "vinegar strokes" and the blowing up of dangerous objects and subsequent reckless endangerment of life. Tom, there will be filth tomorrow. Oh yes.

While you're waiting, Hats for Clowns will eat your brains.

Woo! Yay! Bigfoot and the Groincrushers are now on Google. Soon world domination will be mine.

The Scaryduck Archive

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