Saturday, January 03, 2004

Letters to the Editor

Sir -

Whoever said “An Englishman’s home is his castle” has obviously not experienced petty byelaws and officialdom enforced by my local council, obviously foisted upon them by those no-nothing free-loaders in Brussels.

For example, I am no longer entitled to defend myself against any unwanted visitor to my abode. I am still facing totally vindictive charges relating to that little incident with that chap who invaded my doorstep peddling household goods.

As I told my fellow Lodge member Chief Constable Smithers at the time, the young man - obviously one of our council estate bretheren - came at me with a handful of feather dusters and the dread war-cry of "Homeless and hungry, mate"; and it was only my swift thinking and my war-loot German bayonet that save my wife Algernon from a fate worse than death.

Now things have come to a head with some jumped-up official saying that the machine-gun nest in my garden contravenes council planning policy and “lowers the tone of the area”. They wouldn’t have said that back in 1939 with the Bosch only miles from our coast, what? The council order for thre removal of the mantrap and hot oil chute just goes to show officialdom’s lax attitude to a family’s personal safety with hoardes of immigrants already hammering at our once-proud nation’s door.

I was led to believe that this was the government of law and order. When is Mr Blunkett going to open his eyes and allow upstanding citizens such as myself take the common law into our own hands.

There’s only one rule for the unwashed, uneducated criminal classes! Castrate the buggers and don’t let ‘em breed! It’s the only language these curs understand.

I am not mad.

Yours etc,

Lt Col Winston St John Cholmondeley-Cholmondeley Patel (Mrs)

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