Useless Workshy Cunt of a Builder Update
This coming week, papers will be lodged with Weymouth and Portland County Court with the aim of recovering some GBP 6866.62 from our Useless Workshy Cunt of a Builder.
Realising that he had a) grossly under-quoted for the job, and b) forgot to factor in the sixteen cigarette breaks per day he required, UWCoaB walked out of a contract last October, leaving our house resembling that of TV's Mr Trebus. The useless, workshy cunt.
Ah, GBP 6866.62. So good, I'm going to spell it out, with capitals. Six Thousand Eight Hundred and Sixty-Six Pounds and Sixty-Two of the Queen's pennies*. I would say "of his hard-earned cash", but the UWCoaB put in a whole two days' hard work all the time he was with us, and that's hardly worth three-and-a-half grand a day, is it?
6822.62, or to our American readers, USD 12, 951.81. I like it even better in Russian Rubles: R 364,533, and South Korean Won just makes me cum: W 13, 262,598.
However, plain old cash or non-bouncing cheque from the Bank of Useless Workshy Cuntery will do just fine.**
* Ah. I forgot to add on the quote from the plasterer. The final figure is nearer eight grand, but I can't be arsed to rewrite this whole piece.
** I've been on a libel course. I can prove that he is a) useless b) workshy, and c) a cunt. All is fine.