"A picture of a man's willy!"

Tuesday Stuffpile

A load of old rubbish that wouldn't fit anywhere else. And a picture of a man's willy.

Piss/Ear

Chemists!

Those eardrops they advertise on the TV - the ones they boast contain Urea Hydrogen Peroxide - it's wee, isn't it?

You're paying good money to have someone wee in your ear.

People: I don't care what they say - you're safer with a blunt instrument.


Referrer logs - slight return

Normally, I heart my referrer logs. However, I have just seen the worst referrer log entry ever seen on my website stats: "Ben Elton Blessed torrent".

Oh, and "Vanessa Feltz Topless Pictures".

Time to switch the internet off.


Worst. Pun. Ever.

I hear one of London's top hotels is doing a special offer in its restaurant - buy two courses, get the third free.

"Pudding on the Ritz"


I'll get me top hat.


Boswelox (Pile of)

I've just found out that all that biffidus digestivum and L. Casei Immunitas malarkey they use to advertise those good bacteria yoghurty drink things are a complete load of bollocks made up by advertising agencies. They don't in fact, exist.

Stunned by this news, I have made a vow: If I find that Good Bacteria geek, I'm going to punch him up and punch him up GOOD. That'll serve him right for using his terrible science lies to pick up girls.

Big pile of Boswelox.


Txt

This week I am mostly loving the new BT Text-to-Voice-me-do.

Y'know - the thing where you can send a text to a landline number and Tom Baker - chained to a desk somewhere in Central London - reads out all your best swears.

"Does it work for photo messages?" Mrs Duck asks.

"Tell you what - I'll send you a picture, and if Doctor Who rings up and says 'A PICTURE OF A MAN'S WILLY!', then that's a big yes."

No, it doesn't.


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