Wednesday, August 27, 2008

On living in a Brian Rix farce

On living in a Brian Rix farce

My parents-in-law are rather excellent people.

This might come as a bit of a surprise, as in the whole panoply of comic writing, the mother-in-law gag is the one, great constant of British humour.

I like my mother-in-law, so, in comic terms, I feel I am letting the side down.

Working away from home on weekdays, the in-laws help me to keep my costs down by allowing me to stay overnight at their house once a week.

Both get up and leave for work at an unspeakably early hour, and I tend to get out of bed, dress and leave for work in my own time with the house to myself.

So, I did.

I wandered around upstairs in nothing but my birthday suit.

I had a shower with the door open, singing the crudest rugby songs I knew (about, I believe, a stupid dicky-di-dildo).

I did the biggest, smelliest, loudest poo in recent memory, with full commentary.

Then, seeking out a cup of tea, I went downstairs in nothing but a pair of pants…

… to find the mother-in-law watching GMTV in the living room

"What...? Why…? Wha…?"

"Oh, I didn't feel like going to work this morning."

"I'll…err… go and get dressed, then."

"Yes. I think you'd better had."

Fair play to her, she didn't laugh. Much.

A Brian Rix farce: I am in one.

"Oh crikey, there go my trousers"

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