On frickin' laser beams
"Good Lord," said the optician as he peered closely into the boy Scaryduck Junior's eyes, "you appear to have astigmatism in both eyes."
"Is that a bad thing?" a worried parent asks.
"Not necessarily, no," said the professional, "and in the case of this young man, it appears that what would normally be defects are correcting each other and... and..."
"Not only do you have normal three-dimensional vision, you appear to have something well ...extra..."
The boy reaches out and pulls the lottery numbers out of next week by way of a demonstration.
"And another thing," he asks, seeing a profitable future riding on the back of a couple of research papers.
"Who put in those frickin' laser beams?"