Law 0. You are going to be late. Don't try to fight it.
Law 1. No matter how early you leave, the journey time expands so you always arrive at the same time
Law 2. The lorry that nips in front of you at the end of your road will also be driving past the front door of your workplace (See Law 1)
Law 3. Traffic lights phased to allow free flow of traffic are also phased so that every light on your route will turn red just as you reach them (See Law 1)
Law 4. All other vehicles in front of you want to turn right at some point (See Law 1)
Law 5. The Highway Code is suspended during the School Run (See Law 1)
Law 6. Rat runs, short cuts and alternative routes will spit you out into the queue two cars behind your original starting point (See Law 1)
Law 7. Every other driver does not share your relaxed attitude to the rules of the road (See Law 1)
Law 8. Road works on one side of town have random effects several miles away. See also: Cars breaking down, somebody nipping into a Spar corner shop for a newspaper (See Law 1)
Law 9. Have your excuse ready.