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If I want to upgrade my rubbish mobile phone to something with web access, touch screen and built-in cattle prod, I've got to lose some weight.
The slogan I have been given is: "Lose a stone, win a phone."
After a month of so, it's all turning out to be rather too much like hard work, so I'm going to aim for the runner's up prize instead.
"Lose a gram, win a ham."
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