Homeopathic IKEA pencil
Another day, another trip to IKEA, and this time I am on a mission.
A mission powered by actual SCIENCE and MATHS.
My sole intent: The liberation of 1 (one IKEA pencil) in order to furnish my home.
Some people walk out of the place with dozens, if not hundreds of the things, but they are missing the point (as it were). All the committed office supplies thief needs is a single, solitary IKEA pencil.
And here are the maths:
The Swedish furniture chain has 313 stores in some 38 countries, employing over 127,000 staff.
Within these stores, according to MATHS, the company has provided 2.67 million million million million million pencils, enough to give 6 million million billion pencils to every man, woman and child on the face of the planet.
Or, to put it another way, one IKEA pencil is EXACTLY the same as repeatedly dissolving the entire company in an unlimited quantity of water, and putting one drop of the water onto a sugar pill.
ONE PENCIL = The entire homeopathic essence of the company
You can take this one homeopathic pencil and use it to furnish your home with the entire IKEA catalogue.
Also, you can eat it and it tastes of meatballs.
And this is 100 per cent genuine, unproven SCIENCE.