Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Bad haircuts, and their part in the rise and fall of empires

There's a guy down the Kumsusan Palace who swears he's Elvis
You might have noticed the media chatter about Kim Jong Un's new haircut. Yes, it's ridiculous and his eyebrows look like the first couple of pages of The Very Hungry Caterpillar, but let us not forget he is the man nominally in charge of The Worst Government In The World.

If you've been paying attention, you will know that media in North Korea is (jointly, with Eritrea, a close runner-up for the Worst Government In The World) the most restricted on the planet. Not a word is uttered on air, not a line printed in the press, not a picture published without the approval of very senior party members who wear their Kim Jong Il / Kim Il Sung loyalty badge with pride over their hearts.

So, while Kim's haircut has met with state approval, one wonders how this got out:

BOOM! Foot like a traction engine, that lad
The more eagle-eyed among you will note that it is Manchester City's Samir Nasri blatting one into the top corner against AS Roma in that party to capitalist excess that is the Champions League earlier this season, aired some three months later as peak-time viewing on Korean Central Television.

I know what you're thinking: "Who won?" And the answer to that is City, 2-0.

But the question I'm asking is: Are they going to show Joe "The Voice of Head & Shoulders" Hart and his beautiful, beautiful head of hair, or is he going to be pixellated out for fear of shaming the Supreme Leader and his done-by-his-aunt bouffant?

Other makes of anti-dandruff shampoo are available
Yes. Yes they are.

Across Pyongyang, a million voices cry out: "Hey! Where do I get such a luxurious head of hair?"


1 comment:

Flaxen Saxon said...

Hair cuts are probably not the most important thing about living in the: 'North Korean Democratic Republic'. On election day, there is only one candidate. You had better be voting for the short boy with the dodgy haircut unless you want to be sent to a gulag, not of your choice, together with three generations of your family. Fair but vicious. I've changed my view point, mayhap haircuts are important, after all.