Thursday, May 08, 2003


Oh grud, I feel ill. I arms are so stiff I can hardly hold the mouse, and my nose resembles the Niagra Falls, while a small band of Spanish dancers are doing the flamenco in my head. But for you, dear reader, I shall struggle on. Your generous donations of beer, money and sex may help aid my recovery.


Someone on b3ta pointed out to me that Albert Einstein may have been the world's first AOL-using l33t haXX0r are recently unearthed documents showed the first draft of his famous Theory of Relativity read as follows:

3 = |\/| C sqrd! WTF!!!!!!1 LOL!!!!!!1 OMG!!!!!!1 ROTFLOLOLOL!!!111

"Proof positive," he said.

"You daft bugger," I replied, stealing his idea to use later...


Is this the worst music festival on the planet? I work in Reading, home of the famous rock festival which will be headlined this year by Blur, Linkin Park and Metallica. Less than an hour up the road, there’s Glastonbury which will feature the likes of Radiohead and REM. So I moved to Weymouth, where we get a Meatloaf tribute act, a Status Quo tribute act and those musical giants Slade who parted company with Noddy Holder several years ago, so in essence they’re a tribute act as well. The place will be packed out, naturally.

It is worth noting that Weymouth’s top musical groups (being a seaside town where end-of-the-pier and holiday camp variety is inescapable) are a Steps tribute act and a Tina Turner tribute, where Tina is rather whiter than I remember her in her Private Dancer days...

SARS, thy name is Hysteria

Aaargh! I just realised that here I am displaying "flu-like symptoms", just a week after meeting a very nice man from Radio Taipei International. And. We. Shook. Hands. Now I feel it is my duty to spread fear and ill-informed paranoia around the web. Alternatively, I could just have a cold.

However, I did receive my first SARS Nigerian scam e-mail:

Dear Friend,
Firstly,i have to introduce myself to you.My name is Tony Wang Zhucheng from China.I wasinvolved in the export of small commodities with an office in central beijing but my businesses have been shut down since the outbreak of the SARS epidemic.Before the SARS epidemic and panic in my country ,i had already concluded arrangements to deposit the sum of $9million(nine million dollars),in one of the private security companys in Europe...

yadda yadda yadda....

Yours Faithfully, Tony wang Zhucheng

I'm going to reply to him. And when we meet, I'm going to sneeze all over the bugger.

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