Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Mrs Duck – The Final Reckoning

…Et Norvege… nul points. And that concludes the voting from the Luxembourg jury.

We humbly invited you, dear reader, with promises of grand prizes and free shit, to make the lovely Mrs Duck laugh. And so she did. From a decent sheath (Huh huh Beavis, he said ‘sheath’ Huh huh huhuh huh…) of entries, we selected two which were deemed smirkworthy enough to pick up the prizes.

First: Oliver Burdekin’s story “The Dog Lady”, a true tale of mirth, woe and poop in the finest tradition. Well done that man.

Second: Jemma Jacob’s tale of teen drunkenness, which admittedly higher on woe than mirth, still caused sniggering above and beyond the call of duty.

With the permission of the authors, I’d like to reproduce these stories here next week.

Highly Recommended: Both Lori Smith (a dramatically posed photo cartoon) and Denis Bostock both spent ages on their entries, but sorry chaps, there can be only one winner. Denis’s story of an Animal Farm style bovine rebellion cannot be passed over without quoting this fine, fine gag:

”Right young man,” said the farmer in his gruff pipe-smoer’s voice, “I’m getting too old to do all the work round here, so I need someone to help me with the slaughtering work. Stunning cows.”
“Yes, they are quite attractive.”

The entry that tickled us the most, however, came from Gowon Sanusi of Lagos, Nigeria, for his stunning interpetation of the work “I AM WRITING IN RESPECT OF GENE BILLINGS, A CUSTOMER OF MY BANK, WHO PERISHED IN A PLANE CRASH ALONG WITH HIS BARREN WIFE…THIRTY MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS.” A true work of genius that had us in tears the whole night.

Thank you for your efforts, there’ll be another big-prize competition soon.

The Scaryduck Archive

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