So, Palace officials are trying to hush up Prince Charles’s kinky fetish of shouting abuse through letter boxes, dressed in nothing but a pair of old wellie boots and an old sock tied round his scrotum, are they?
Perhaps taxpayers’ money may be better spent than on building the entire village of Poundbury in Dorset - touted as His Royal Highness’ idea of an idyllic community - and housing it with people either too deaf or confused to understand the cries of “Vicar felching” and “Earl Spencer blows goats!” coming through their front doors.
Does Blair’s foolish and short-sighted government think it can pull the wool over our eyes, allowing the Prince to indulge his little pecadillo without fear of violent persecution from right-minded people such as myself? What this country needs is a return to the public school system, where a little forced buggery and routine tranvestism never did me any harm.
I am not mad.
Lt Col Winston St John Cholmondeley-Cholmondeley Patel (Mrs)
Scaryduck’s ‘Did You Know...?’ No. 327
A big screen version of cult TV classic “The A-Team” is to be sponsored by a famous breakfast cereal company. At the end of the movie after the bad guys have been roundly defeated by means of a series of loud non-fatal explosions brought about by everyday household implements, Hannibal Smith is contractually obliged to say “I love it when Alpen comes together.”