Thursday, December 04, 2003

Letters to the editor

Sir -

When is our so-called democratically elected Prime Minister going to sit up and do something about that nest of filth and perversion that is the internet?

These days, a man such as myself who has fought in seven world wars, and prides himself as being one of this nation’s “silver surfers”, cannot give his e-mail address and credit card number to an honest-to-goodness pro-countryside and pro-hunting website like without being deluged with such messages as “Lolita’s drenched in HOTT cum” and “Spittro@st Teenz in seXXX orgie frenzy!!!”

In the name of Jahweh, don’t they teach English in schools these days? The grammar and punctuation in these messages is appalling, and the spelling is what I’ve come to expect from the comprehensive system these days.

If Blair is serious about educating our firm, thrusting, full-breasted youth, for a career in the all-important gentlemen’s relief industry, we should be taking a leaf out of the Kingdom of Thailand’s book, where every child can spell “Suckee fuckee mister, only five dollar, I love you long time” by the time they are twelve.

I am not mad.

Yours etc,

Lt Col Winston St John Cholmondeley-Cholmondeley Patel (Mrs)
D Wing Belmarsh Prison

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