Monday, April 26, 2004


Lovely weekend - warm and sunny, just right for getting the garden sorted. So, naturally, I've got the flu. Not your normal couple of days' off work sticky cold, but real live so-grim-my-arms-don't-work-properly flu. And then there's the mystery of the unexplained bruise on the back of my right hand.

Still, the football results fell very nicely, so the Arsenal won the Premiership at the ground of our pathetic arch-enemies T*tt*nh*m H*tsp*r. Unbeaten so far in the league, best player in the world, and safe in the knowledge that Ryan Giggs is still a window-licking wookie.

No sooner had the final whistle gone on this litle triumph when the phone rang with news of the death of a favourite aunt who lost her battle with cancer yesterday afternoon, rather exposing that famous quote of the late Bill Shankly as the pile of toss that it is.

Life goes on...


A modest and uniquely talented man, little is known of the pivotal role of snooker star Steve "Interesting" Davis in the course of recent world history. For example, he rarely speaks of a 147 maximum break against the odds which led directly to the fall of the Berlin Wall and the collapse of Communism, but that is just typical of the man's humble attitude to life.

However, that is just the peak of a career which has seen Davis as the driving force behind the Sex Pistols, the model for "Blakey" in "On the Buses", and his narrow failure to assassinate Margaret Thatcher in the infamous Robot Len Ganley plot of 1987.

Much of this extraordinary life will remain a secret for many years to come, thanks to Davis's undercover work for the Dutch Secret Service - he has saved the world on no less than seven occasions, asking only for a lifetime's supply of donkey porn and a season ticket for PSV Eindhoven in return.

Steve "Interesting" Davis: Gentleman, Scholar, Acrobat.

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