Tributes are pouring in for the Scouse comedian Bobby Chariot, who died today on stage at the Wakefield Working Men's club.
Widely regarded as the worst and least versatile performer on the circuit, and warm-up man to people far funnier than himself, his catchprases "Laugh then, youse bastards" and "I'm on pills for me nerves, y'know" are much loved and repeated by absolutely nobody.
"About as funny as skinning your pet dog," said fellow comic Bernard Manning on the promise of free column inches; while troubled funnyman Michael Barrymore remembered his "dated, hackneyed act filled with gags that even I wouldn't touch with a shitty stick."
Paying moving tribute, Hitler's favourite comic, Jim Davidson said, "This is a tragic, tragic loss to the profession. Chariot was the one man on this Earth who made me look funny."
Chariot's agent, Ralph "Mr Spangles" Catflap tells this publication that Chariot will be dying again at Batley Women's Institute tomorrow and Workington Railway Workers' Club on Tuesday. Tickets available at all prices.